


Pink & Blue (Deleted Chapters, Crack, drabble and outakes)

by Hermione_Stranger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Cute, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Good Pansy Parkinson, Hermione Granger-centric, Luna Loves Hermione, Melodrama, Mild Smut, Parody, Powerful Luna Lovegood, Romance, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:03:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermione_Stranger/pseuds/Hermione_Stranger
Summary: Basically, just nonsense crack chapters I took out of Pink And Blue as they were too dumb and crack filled or too smutty haha please don't take these that seriously.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still not got around to writing any new stories but I remembered I had a few deleted chapters and outtakes just laying around in a folder that I might as well post for fun. This was meant to be an April fools day chapter but I was worried people would get halfway in and stop reading before they learned it was a joke and I was worried I'd lose my subs and readers haha but here it is anyway now just for fun. Kudos and comments most welcome and really do inspire me to write more so id appreciate them!
> 
> Having said that please be aware this isn't really very polished and keep in mind it was deleted for a reason so don't be too harsh on this nonsense. Anyway on you go and try to enjoy :)

Another dream, a construction of Luna's, Hermione was sure of it. Though something was a little off. This dream wasn't like the usual ones, it was less welcoming and warm than the other settings the Ravenclaw had chosen as a backdrop for their nightly dream-walking activities. Hermione found herself in a very sleek shiny office that was almost disturbingly clean. Everything seemed to glimmer with a freshly polished sheen. The room had a very striking colour scheme Hermione noted as she looked around her eyes swimming with curiosity. 

Everything from the desk she was sat behind to the bookshelves and the coffee table were black trimmed with gold. The walls were also black tiled and shiny and made a fine match for the polished dark wood floor. Hermione found herself feeling a tad uneasy, she got a sense that she'd been here before. Hermione got a sudden flashback to when herself and the rest of the D.A, lead by Harry, had broken into the ministry of magic last year. Yes of course! Hermione thought everything now becoming clear as she shook herself a little for not realising where she was sooner. The office she was in just seemed to scream 'Ministry of Magic'. 

Hermione stood up from behind the desk she was sat behind and moved to exit the room to find Luna. She had to be here too, maybe she could explain this strange setting for their latest nocturnal adventure. Maybe it wasn't a voluntary thing, could it be a nightmare? Hermione wondered as her heart began to beat harder. Why would Luna choose to come back here to the place where she had witnessed me getting wounded by that curse, Hermione wondered. The witch recalled hearing from Tonks at Christmas how distraught Luna had been after that incident and how it had taken an age to calm her afterward.

Hermione felt ill at the thought of Luna being in such distress and wanted nothing more than to grab her and hold her close.

Hermione made it halfway across the room head full of questions and worries but just as she made it to the door she stopped took a few steps back and gasped. The witch had caught sight of herself in a full body length mirror embedded on the wall.

"I...look...wow," Hermione said her mouth falling upon as she took in her reflection. She hardly recognised herself in a very smart dark pant-suit her hair up and dark make up around her eyes. Hermione grinned as she found herself rather pleased by this look. Almost like a strict school headmistress but somehow very alluring, Hermione thought giggling as she spun around to look at herself from the back. Hermione's early fear and worry seemed to vanish as she admired herself, it wasn't often she liked to look at herself but given this was a dream she was going to make a little allowance. Hermione wondered what part of her subconscious had conjured up this version of herself. she didn't get to ponder it long however as there was a sudden sharp triple knock on the door which caused her to jump.

"Um...Come in?" Hermione asked straightening up and trying to recompose herself so she could get into character for whatever this little roleplay Luna had concocted was. However, Luna wasn't the one who stepped inside.

"Good evening...Minister Granger," Said a smartly dressed Pansy Parkinson, smirking. Pansy stepped into the room with a slight arrogant confidence Hermione had forgotten the Slytherin had. Hermione had to admit she was very captivating when she turned on her old herself, that was to say, the persona she had used to torment Hermione back before they'd become friends. Hermione didn't long for Pansy's nasty side to return, she was glad the Slytherin had matured over the years but the Gryffindor had to admit there was a certain thrill to facing down that sexy little smirk from her old bully. Still, there was no time for games or fooling around so Hermione went back to what Pansy had called her as she'd walked in.

"M-Minister?...Pansy, what are you....what?" Hermione rambled in disbelief furrowing her brow as Pansy merely chuckled and pointed to the nameplate on the door which read, 'Hermione Jean Granger: Minister of Magic'.

"I didn't know your middle name was Jean Grange-y... it's cute I like it," Pansy smiled stepping further into the office and shutting the door as Hermione just stood there blinking at her looking dumbstruck. Pansy more jovial self had slipped back again as she threw out her little pet name for Hermione and it relaxed the Gryffindor a little but she still had questions and wanted answers.

"What's going on? where's Luna...why are you in our dream?" Hermione asked as Pansy stepped closer looking the Minister of Magic up and down approvingly.

"Oh I love your hair up like this...you give off a real no-nonsense hard arse vibe, I'll step on you...and you'll like it kind of thing...grrrrr," Pansy said making an impression of a cat and a clawing motion with her right hand that made Hermione snort. Hermione soon shook herself and got her strict demeanor back, however as this was no time for joking around.

"No! stop that!....no flirty stuff till you tell me what's going on! Have you broken into our dream somehow? You know how Luna feels about this sort of thing! Remember the last time I accidentally wandered into that one you were having about me and Luna dominating Daphne in front of you? I got such a spanking...I....hey don't laugh at me, Pansy Parkinson! You dropped me in it as well mentioning it to Luna like that! I hadn't even meant to spy on you!" Hermione said stamping her foot and crossing her arms getting very irate at how giddy and unphased Pansy was by her outburst.

"Oh, hush Minster...Luna's the one that set this up...she's rather busy with some secret project and while she's off doing that she thought that you and I...and Daphne should have some fun....now why don't you get back behind your desk start some work on those letters...and I'll crawl below your desk and get those pesky trousers off...I mean what sort of undersecretary would I be if I didn't help the Minister of Magic take the edge off while she worked," Pansy said fixing Hermione with a seductive look. Hermione's eyes went wide at what she was suggesting her cheeks burning red.

"My undersec...what?" Hermione managed to get out, almost laughing and almost choking at the same time, nearly tripping over own feet as she backed away from an advancing Pansy.

"You're undersecretary...as appointed to you by your wife. Luna Lovegood. Minister for the welfare of...oh what title did she give herself...The welfare of all magical creatures...and supreme mistress of the nocturnal arts...whatever that means," Pansy laughed stepping closer to Hermione again. Hermione just looked at Pansy shaking her head. Luna was unbelievable, she truly was. What was this secret project? Why did she need Hermione to be distracted in her dreams with Pansy and Daphne while working on it? 

"Oh stop fighting it Minister...you know you want me to call that lovely receptionist Miss Greengrass in here so she can join me under your desk...just stop overthinking things and go sit down," Pansy said a little snappily then pointing at Hermione's desk and giving the witch a stern look. Hermione narrowed her eyes at her.

"Fine! I'll sit but only so I can take a moment to gather my thoughts before giving you a proper interrogation! There'll be no funny business of any kind however so get whatever circus of smut you're imagining out of your head! Also, leave poor Daphne alone...wherever she is...I don't think she'd appreciate being pulled into your weird fantasies!" Hermione said sharply before marching to her desk and sitting down folding her arms. Pansy became very pouty then and stamped her own foot!

"Me? But...this is 'your' bloody fantasy! Luna said she uncovered it in your mind when....oh never mind..." Pansy sighed looking defeated and crossing her arms at the look of utter confusion on Hermione's face.

"I'll go get Daphne and we can wake up together and you can go talk to that ditsy Ravenclaw..." Pansy shook her head looking very crestfallen. Hermione felt a tad bad for the girl at this moment, she had looked ever so excited before. Hermione wasn't in the mood to fool around with anyone without Luna being present and involved. However, she decided to go a little easy on Pansy as she felt maybe this truly hadn't been her idea.

"Pansy listen I appreciate all the effort you've gone too but..."

"I wrote an entire kinky script for this and practiced my lines all night...I even got dressed up and everything!" Pansy pouted cutting in.

"Yes, well I'm sure it would've all been very sexy and we'd all have gotten off together in no time... and you look very smart...and very...alluring and everything....but I didn't agree to any of this! I don't know what Luna said or what she's playing at but I wasn't involved. Sorry, Pansy...Luna, she must be playing a little joke on us. What secret project could she possibly be working on anyway?" Hermione asked laughing at the absurdity of the situation and Pansy seemed to perk up again upon seeing the witch smile.

"Apparently, 'It'll change the very fabric of our reality'...whatever that means," Pansy snorted quoting what Luna had told her.

"Oh, of course, it will," Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Alright Miniister Granger time to wake up...your undersecretary and receptionist Greengrass...we'll just have to play by ourselves this evening, off you go then...and if Luna blows up at you its not my fault! Also while she's shouting at your just think about all the fun we could have had instead and then you come and say sorry tomorrow!... I could even be persuaded to visit your dreams again with Daphne...if you bring that little Ravenclaw along too and we could do this thing properly next time," Pansy said smiling and biting her lip.

"Oh give it a rest woman!" Hermione said exasperated before rocking backward on her chair to create the falling sensation that would cause her to wake. She heard Pansy cackling before she felt herself being pulled away from the scene and crashing back into the waking world.

***** 

Hermione rolled over in bed hoping to find Luna and pull her close for a cuddle. Hoping that her dream had in fact just be a lot of old nonsense and not the distraction Pansy had suggested. However, when she brought her arm down in search of the witch she found that side of the bed empty and cold. Hermione groaned and opened her eyes barely able to keep them open against the morning light streaming in through the curtain of her and Luna's bed.

Hermione frowned deeply as she sat up crossing her arms slightly miffed that Luna had apparently set her up for some strange nighttime activities with Pansy and Daphne while the Ravenclaw worked at Merlin knows what! Hermione drew back the curtains of the bed and swung her legs out setting about getting dressed in a hasty and ill-tempered fashion, muttering under her breath with some less than sweet words for her Ravenclaw girlfriend.

Hermione was just finishing doing up her tie when the annoyance and worry that had gripped her was stripped away in an instant as she felt a set of small arms wrap around her from behind and a familiar comforting scent filled the air around her as Luna hugged her.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," Luna said softly a tiny hint of anxiety in her voice. The witch was evidently rather shaken by Hermione's having awakened far earlier than scheduled.

"And you're supposed to be sleeping right next to me," Hermione said softly a distinct tone of upset clear in her voice that made Luna shudder. The Ravenclaw hated to think she'd made Hermione feel lonely or unwanted.

"I'm Sorry Hermione...I just, I stumbled upon something huge and I couldn't put off working on it any longer...please forgive me....I'll stay in bed with you all day to make up for it if you'll let me?" Luna said squeezing Hermione tight biting her lip. Hermione turned and looked down at the very guilty looking Luna and her heart melted almost immediately.

"I swear you could get away with murder with those sad silvery devils Luna Lovegood," Hermione said going weak at the look in Luna's eyes. Unable to keep a small grin from her face as she lifted up Luna's chin with her finger to meet the witches regretful eyes that were shining with just a hint of tears.

"You're smiling Hermione Granger....does that mean I'm off the hook?" Luna asked hopefully biting her lip.

"Oh, not by a long shot...I want details on whatever it is you're doing....and you have to curl up with me in bed right this second," Hermione said rather forcefully pushing Luna backward onto their bed and following her onto it smiling wickedly now.

"That seems fair," Luna laughed as she made herself comfortable as Hermione slid down next to her and held her close.

"So...whats this huge secret project you're working on and why did it drive you to think id be better off shagging Pansy and Daphne in my dreams than helping you with it! you cheeky little mare!" Hermione said hitting Luna a rather hard clap on the backside.

"Just for that I won't tell you anything Hermione Granger," Luna said rolling over, turning her back to Hermione feigning upset at the witches slap.

"Oh come on little miss mischief! I'm dying to know!" Hermione said pouting snuggling close into Luna's back and kissing her shoulder as Luna laughed.

"Little miss mischief?" Luna repeated more to herself than Hermione seeming to like this new title she'd been assigned going by the tone of amusement in her voice.

"Yes...always getting into trouble...and dragging me along...now spill the beans!" Hermione said giving Luna's earlobe a quick little nip with her teeth making Luna jump at the unexpected assault.

"Hey! less of that...little miss bossy! I've got a mind to keep everything to myself now..." Luna said bringing a hand to her ear defensively, though she was grinning ear to ear.

"Little miss bo'... ah....excuse me?" Hermione said in mock outrage at Luna's cheeky retort making the Ravenclaw chuckle.

"You heard me...bossy bossy...no wonder you have dreams about being Minister of Magic," Luna said smiling.

"Dreams constructed by you Luna Lovegood!" Hermione laughed shaking her head.

"Constructed using your subconscious as a basis Hermione," Luna shot back immediately and the Gryffindor groaned in defeat.

"Alright, maybe I've thought about it once or twice...I never imagined having Pansy Parkinson as my randy undersecretary however," Hermione said a slight accusatory tone seeping into her voice.

"Oh, it was just a little fun, Hermione...I wasn't going to leave you three alone you know. Didn't you read the script?" Luna asked looking over her shoulder at Hermione frowning then.

"Wait you had a hand in that script nonsense Pansy mentioned?" Hermione asked raising an eyebrow.

"A hand in it? I helped write it kitty," Luna laughed at the look on Hermione's face and continued.

"Once Pansy and Daphne would've gotten started on you, I would've burst in soon after and in a jealous rage I declare myself Minister of Magic and then you three naughty witches would have to tend to my needs..." Luna said trailing off and closing her eyes as she sighed dreamily. Hermione shook her head and looked up to the ceiling, 'Merlin give me strength' Hermione thought before deciding she needs to get things back on the correct subject.

"Alright enough about your ill-fated dream porn scripts...tell me about this secret project!" Hermione said shaking Luna a little to get her out of her little daydream she'd fallen into. Luna turned around and took Hermione's hand getting a serious look on her face.

"Okay Hermione...I'll tell you but its best if you sit down first," Luna said squeezing Hermione's hand.

"Luna...we're in bed...laying down...I think we can just skip that step," Hermione said giggling.

"Oh...yes...well, in that case, I'll just come right out and say it...Hermione Granger...I regret to inform you that you and I, along with everyone we know, are just mere characters in a story," Luna said matter of factly as Hermione groaned and snatched her hand away from Luna. To think I thought she might have something serious to tell me. Hermione thought about what Luna had said for a moment then smiled and Luna raised an eyebrow?

"Well?" Luna asked looking a tad perplexed.

"Well...that's an interesting way of looking at the world Luna...I guess everyone sees themselves as the main character in their own little story...very Shakespearean of you. Such a lovely witty Ravenclaw," Hermione sighed as she found a new appreciation for Luna's words. The Ravenclaw, however, seemed displeased.

"No! I mean it, Hermione! we're characters in a fictional story! We're not even the proper version of the characters! We're fanfiction!" Luna said crossing her arms now as Hermione snorted.

"Oh Luna...did you eat too much candy again...are you feeling alright?" Hermione asked laughing.

"Fine make it a big joke! I'll show you! just wait till I get the laptop!" Luna said bounding off the bed suddenly. Hermione just stared after her dumbstruck what on earth was she talking about now. Luna returned after a few moments with an opened laptop though it looked more advanced than any Hermione had witnessed her mother and father using at home. Luna placed id down in front of Hermione who looked at the webpage it was opened on.

"Archive of our own dot com," Hermione read aloud raising an eyebrow and looking back to Luna who had now moved to lay on her belly as the pair used the laptop.

"It's a website Muggle's use to write stories about everyone in our world," Luna said as Hermione just stared at her blankly.

"Muggle tech doesn't function Hogwarts how did you...Oh I see...I'm still a sleep...none of this is happening," Hermione said after a moment and she began laughing again until Luna pinched her hard on the backside making the Gryffindor jump and yelp.

"Ow, Luna!" Hermione whined.

"See! you're perfectly awake now start listening to me!" Luna said frowning as she turned back to the laptop and clicked into the website. Hermione's head was spinning this had to still be a dream. Instead of questioning Luna further Hermione just sighed and decided to strap herself in for whatever madness Luna had cooked up this time.

"See look at all the stories about us," Luna said pointing at the screen.

"Hermione/Luna....three hundred results," Hermione read aloud frowning as she spotted her name next to some less favorable people soon after.

"Hermione/Snape! What! who would write this! EW! and...and Hermione/Draco? What's wrong with these Muggles! Hey, why are their more results for Hermione/Bellatrix than Luna/Hermione? What is this nonsense!" Hermione shouted almost wanting to put her fist through the screen as Luna grabbed onto the Gryffindor to calm her.

"Unfortunately you and I are what's known as a 'Rare pair' and there are very few stories about us....its really very unfair and annoying....from the comments I've seen these Muggle writers seem to think I'm too hard to write and to have you paired up with someone like Ginny or even Bellatrix is a lot easier. Besides most of these stories get rather filthy and it's pretty easy to imagine a lot of BDSM type situations when you're paired up with Bellatrix...these Muggles all seem mad for that kind of thing." Luna said sighing as she looked rather dejected by the lack of stories about herself and Hermione.

"Well, we need to do something about this Luna! These Muggles need to learn that I am perfectly suited to my sweet little Ravenclaw and that we're made for each other...and we can have as much kinky fun as...." Hermione trailed off as she scrolled down the website looking for any kind of pairing that didn't feature herself.

"Oh, bloody Merlin why I'm I literally paired with every single person imaginable!" Hermione groaned.

"I think I read on a fanfiction forum that you're what's know as "A little black dress" Hermione, that is to say, you have a personality type and traits that can be made to fit with just about any other character." Luna chuckled at the look of dismay on her girlfriends face.

"Hey wait a second why have you bookmarked a disturbingly large number of "Pansy/Luna Pansy/Hermione and Luna/Ginny fics" Luna Lovegood," Hermione said her mouth falling open. Luna quickly slammed the laptop shut and grabbed it away from Hermione and hid it under the bed.

"Those...were...research...actually some of them were already bookmarked when I borrowed this device," Luna said biting her lip as Hermione advanced on her looking dangerous. Before she could jump off the bed Hermione pinned the Ravenclaw and held her down.

"Little miss mischief indeed! now, where did that laptop come from Luna Lovegood!" Hermione said still wanting more answers about this madness.

"I got it from the portal behind the bookcases at the very back of our library," Luna said all to calmly and matter of factly for Hermione's liking. Saying the sentence like it was the most normal thing in the world though Luna did look a tad guilty.

"Portal?" Hermione asked eyes going wide as she fell further down this insane rabbit hole.

"Yes I discovered it a few days ago...I think the room of requirement wanted me to find it, I think the room was worried that you might lose your marbles if you stumbled upon it so left the discovery to me," Luna said dreamily.

"Oh well, thanks for taking the hit for me," Hermione snorted shaking her head at how calm Luna still was about all this.

"Where does this portal lead exactly?" Hermione asked eyes still wide in disbelief but mixed with eager curiosity too.

"To the real world, beyond the fictional story in which we live...I wanted to meet our original creator, J.K Rowling and see if she could maybe go about changing her story so that you and me falling in love could be canonical and maybe lead to an increase of fics about us on that website so there'd be no more Hermione/Cho...or other mistakes," Luna said a dark look coming over her face as she listed off that particular pairing and Hermione couldn't help but grin at the envy in Luna's eyes just then.

"Oh me and Cho eh? Now...there's an idea...can I have a little peek at that website again please...maybe there's some really juicy mediation material on there," Hermione said letting go of Luna's arms sitting and bringing a finger to her lips looking to be thinking over the situation seriously. Luna looked aghast and Hermione's charade fell apart instantly as she began to laugh.

"I'm joking Luna...I'd never read that rubbish...those Hermione/Ginny fics though I might give them a whirl," Hermione said sarcastically winking causing Luna to narrow her eyes.

"Very funny kitty! maybe I won't help J.K re-write her story to have us be canon after all," Luna said a little huff-ly.

"I'm just playing...You're the only witch for me Luna Lovegood and you know it. Maybe we could go together into this portal and try to find J.K again....lets put these Muggle's right about us," Hermione said leaning down to snog Luna and take her mind off any unpleasant thoughts about herself and a certain Ravenclaw Seeker.

"Hmmm...I'd love that Hermione Granger....and having looked at J.K Rowling's twitter feed she seems to be all for retconning her world and making as many of her characters as possible turn out to be gay! if we could get a hold of her phone we could tweet out a picture of the actresses that played us in the films of her novels. Maybe we could have them kissing and post the hashtag #LunaLovesHermione and #Lumione4ever!" Luna said suddenly getting very excited. Hermione tried to make sense of words like Twitter and hashtag but couldn't manage it so just threw her hands up and smiled.

"I have no clue what any of that means sweetheart...but okay let's do it!" Hermione said not really caring at this point where this dream was going but deciding she couldn't wait to see anyway. 

******

"She can't play me! I mean look at her! She looks like...a bloody model!" Hermione said standing across from a bus stop with a large poster displaying Emma Watson as Hermione Granger with the words Deathly Hallows part 2 under her.

"I think its awfully good casting myself you do yourself a disservice Hermione you're a stunning witch!" Luna said squeezing Hermione's hand tight and making the Gryffindor give a shy half smile.

"At least you're one looks something like you Luna," Hermione said looking to the poster on the other side of the bus stop displaying Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood.

"Yes, she is quite lovely...Emma and Evanna make a handsome match, how these Muggle fangirls didn't see us as a viable ship I will never know," Luna sighed.

"Well come one here's our bus we should be at the hotel in about thirty minutes. Remember the plan, get in find J.K grab her phone find Miss Watson and Miss Lynch take some cute photos with them getting a bit touchy-feely tweet out those hashtags you mentioned and we'll make the fangirls go wild!" Hermione said confidently as Luna nodded.

"Yes, they'll be writing Luna/Hermione fics for years! Also If anyone asks us why we're there we'll just say we're Hermione and Luna's cosplayers looking for autographs. oh and of course no magic unless we really need it okay...and a-hem! no flirting with the actresses who play us," Luna added the last part hastily as she caught Hermione seeming to look at the poster of Emma with a new level of appreciation. Hermione straightened up at the strict tone that had entered Luna's voice and nodded quickly trying not to grin as their bus finally pulled up.

******

"Ra ra Rasputin  
Lover of the Russian queen" 

Luna sang as herself and Hermione walked into the hotel lobby. Hermione rolled her eyes wishing that Muggle girl with her modern walkman on the bus had never let Luna listen to one of her earphones. Luna grinned at Hermione's visible exasperation at having to listen to her sing the same song over and over but fell silent as the pair began looking around the hotel for any sign of where their target might be. 

The hotel where all the stars of the latest Harry Potter film were staying before the premier was full to bursting with people rushing about everywhere. It might take a little while to find J.K Hermione noted as her eyes darted around the lobby searching frantically. They didn't have much time to search, they'd used a confundus charm on security outside but they could shake it off anytime.

"Look, Hermione, over by the bar! It's her I recognise her from the pictures we saw on the introweb!" Luna said almost bouncing with glee.

"Internet Luna," Hermione giggled as she grabbed the excited witches arm and took her over towards J.K who was sat at the bar.

"Okay I'll ask for an autograph and you snatch the phone while she's not looking! Its sat right there on the bar, easy peasy!" Hermione said biting her lip and Luna nodded confidently.

"Excuse me Miss Rowling...um..." Hermione was silenced by the wide-eyed stare she and Luna received from the famous author as she looked around.

"Something the matter?" Luna asked seeming really very concerned seeming to forget her task of retrieving the phone.

"Oh, sorry girls... it's just you two are the best damn Hermione and Luna cosplayers I've ever seen...its... it's like you just stepped right out the pages of my book." J.K said smiling widely.

"Oh...thanks so much it means a lot we tried ever so hard to get the look right didn't we?" Hermione said looking to Luna who nodded in agreement.

"You two didn't happen to sneak in here, did you? used an invisibility cloak eh?" J.K said winking at the pair.

"Sorry...we just really wanted an autograph," Hermione said nudging Luna who slyly began reaching for J.K's phone.

"Oh well I guess one autograph won't hurt..but don't go causing trouble and be on your way before someone finds out you snuck in okay? now, who should I make this out to?" J.K said pulling a pen from her handbag and reaching for a napkin to write on.

"Oh...Lucy and Jean," Hermione said quickly altering Luna's name slightly and giving her own middle name giving a huge sigh of relief as Luna slipped J.K's phone into her robes.

"Alright there you go girls, I hope you enjoy the film tomorrow," J.K said beaming as she handed the napkin to Hermione.

"Do Luna and Hermione get together in this one?" Luna asked with a cheeky grin as J.K just snorted and shook her head.

"Luna and Hermione shippers are we? my, that's a new one...people normally just badger me about putting Hermione and Harry together," J.K laughed.

"How silly Luna and Hermione make for a far more exciting dynamic," Luna said frowning as J.K laughed again.

"You say that as if you speak from first-hand experience," J.K said taking a sip of her wine.

"Oh..she does," Hermione said dreamily turning to Luna who had a small glint in her eye and the pair shared a kiss making J.K almost choke on her wine.

"Oh...well...that's...what a lovely pair you to make...maybe I should make some alterations to canon," J.K said more to herself than Hermione and Luna. If Hermione didn't know better she would say the woman looked to be rather serious and in very deep thought about the idea. Seeing as the woman was now distracted Hermione decided it was time for them to make a quick getaway. Hermione took Luna by the arm and the pair walked off to find Emma and Evanna to put out some spicy tweets from J.K's phone.

*****

"You...you want us to kiss...for a picture?" Emma asked looking from Hermione and Luna to Evanna who was struggling not to laugh at the strange request. Hermione and Luna had tracked the pair down to a billiards room on the second floor. Emma and Evanna were just wrapping up a match of nine ball when Hermione and Luna wondered in. As expected Emma and Evanna had bought their story about being excited cosplaying fangirls and instead of calling security had instead stayed to have a quick chat.

"Sure why not... a bit of craic Emma eh? Give us a quick peck sure?" Evanna said nudging a perplexed looking Emma.

"Evanna, please! If pictures of us being so... 'friendly' go online we'll break the bloody internet," Emma said shaking her head.

"Awk it'll be a laugh...we'll keep it cute...come on this pair got dressed up for us and everything lets indulge them a little with this Hermione X Luna thing...besides don't think I haven't noticed you giving me the eye these last few years," Evanna said moving closer to Emma and pulling her into a hug from behind.

"Evannaaaaaa," Emma groaned pouting clearly heavily embarrassed by this situation.

"Alright now look at Evanna adoringly for me," Luna said getting in position with J.K's phone.

"Yeah, Emma look at me adoringly why don't you!" Evanna said sarcastically. Emma rolled her eyes but a seductive look on her face as she turned to stare down Evanna as Luna took some pictures.

"Now kiss," Hermione said smiling and Emma and Evanna leaned in for what Hermione assumed would be a quick peck but Evanna clearly had her own ideas and before anyone knew what was happening Luna was snapping away as the pair engaged in a full-blown snog.

"Right well.. thank you both ever so much...come on we should be off Luna...er Lucy," Hermione said quickly grabbing the Ravenclaw and dragging her away as Evanna rather forcefully pushed Emma backwards onto the pool table sending the billiard balls off in all different directions.

"Aw, but I'd like to have seen more of that," Luna pouted as she was dragged outside.

"No time for that Miss Mischeif...get those pictures tweeted out sharpish and let's get back to Croydon and through the portal again!" Hermione said and Luna sighed but took out the phone.

******

A few hours later Hermione and Luna were safely back in the room of requirement giggling as they watched more and more Luna/Hermione fics appear across the web. Emma and Evanna's cute flirty and somewhat racy pictures have indeed appeared to break the internet being the first pictures on Twitter to be retweeted three million times. 

The hashtag #LunaLovesHermione had also been used no less than 2.4 million times itself. People had gone wild with speculation wondering why J.K had tweeted the hashtag and pictures many unable to decide if she was serious about this Luna and Hermione stuff given her other retcons about characters relationships that she'd done in the past via the same platform. Whatever the case all that mattered was Luna and Hermione were now the most popular femslash pairing in the Harry Potter Fandom. New fics, fan art and cosplay of this new couple appeared daily and was a real shot in the arm to the community.

"Mischief managed eh Luna," Hermione said kissing the witch on the check as they both lay on their bellies in bed browsing archive of our own for the latest 100k fic about them.

"Indeed little miss bossy," Luna giggled giving Hermione her own kiss.

"This was rather the best dream you ever conjured up for us Luna...but I think I'd like to wake up now," Hermione said nudging Luna.

"I told you...we're awake Hermione this isn't a dream," Luna said shaking her head and Hermione blinked rapidly as she found no lie the witches voice. Hermione just held Luna for a long while then trying to come to terms with her existential crisis.

The End.....

 

 

 

APRIL FOOLS! :p


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna spends a lunchtime with Hermione.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just one of many short flashback scenes that had that would explore Luna's pinning for Hermione during the Order of the Phoenix. However, I just couldn't find a good place to slot them in so they had to go. I have a few more short drabble and half-finished unpolished scenes let me know if you want more. Please comment or leave kudos as they really inspire me to keep updating and writing. now on you go try and enjoy this madness haha.

Luna nibbled at her jam sandwich and smiled fondly as she returned to staring at the lovely nobbly knees of Hermione Granger. What a divine sight, soothing works of art. Luna had aspirations of painting these wonderful knees and the rest of their owner someday soon. Luna hadn't meant to find herself sat cross-legged under the exact table Hermione and her friends had decided to sit at when they'd visited the library that lunchtime but alas here she was. Luna wasn't complaining she found the view to be quite wonderful especially when Hermione would shift around in her seat and the Ravenclaw would catch a flash of pink between the witches legs. Luna would look away quickly when those moments occurred as of course, Hermione hadn't given her permission to look at such things.

When would be the right time to ask permission for such a thing ? Luna wondered as she ate her sandwich. Prehaps I'll inquire at the next D.A meeting Luna mused nodding to herself as decided that would be a good plan.

"Right well come on Harry lets get a shift on we've got two free classes after lunch good time to get some Quidditch practice in....and I need all the help I can get," Sighed a very miserable sounding Ron Weasley.

"Yeah alright...Ginny? you couldn't help me put Ron through a quick crash course? I know you have to get back to class in about half an hour but I could use a hand here," Harry said as he moved to get up, a distinct note of desperation in his voice.

"Sure I'll help whip him into shape and put my boot to his backside if he doesn't stop panicking...he's a decent keeper always has been he just needs to relax a little. Hermione are you com..."

"Ah leave her Ginny you know Hermione hates flying and Quidditch...and fun in general... just leave her to her books," Ron grumbled cutting Ginny off.

"Maybe let Hermione answer for herself, Ronald, you prat!" Ginny said and Luna had to suppress a giggle as she heard a loud clap followed by Ron crying out in pain.

"Hey!" Ron shouted.

"You want to come watch from the stands Hermione or..." Harry began but was cut off as Hermione cut in a little rudely.

"No, go ahead, by all means, don't mind me!" Hermione said in a high voice that held a lot of hurt. Luna listened to the footsteps as Harry Ginny and Ron moved off. Ginny appeared to be snapping at Ron again about something but her voice was too far away to hear now. Harry too seemed to be giving Ron what for.

"...I'll just stay here...by myself...like usual," Hermione said harshly slamming shut her book and crossing her arms. Luna began to frown at the hurt in the witches voice and spoke before she knew what she was doing.

"That was very unfair of them!" Luna said coldly crossing her arms.

"H-hello?" Hermione questioned twisting around in her seat looking all around for the source of the voice she'd just heard.

"Down here," Luna said softly. Hermione leaned down and looked under the desk her eyes going wide as she discovered Luna who was finishing off her sandwich now.

"Luna, what are you doing down there?" Hermione asked sliding off her seat to join the Ravenclaw under the desk biting her lip.

"Jam Sandwich?" Luna offered holding up a second sandwich to Hermione who shook her head.

"Oh no thank you I've eaten already. What was this you were saying...about something being unfair?" Hermione asked raising an eyebrow as she got comfortable sitting cross-legged opposite Luna.

"The way Ron excluded you just now...I'm surprised Harry let him away with it...at least Ginny put him in his place...I love Ginny? Don't you? She's so brave," Luna said adoringly as Hermione snorted.

"Yes Ginny sure is something...but hey don't worry about me Luna....I'm used to being left out of things," Hermione sighed.

"I often get left out of things myself...I think I've gone whole weeks without anyone speaking to me...I often worry the Nargles have placed an invisibility spell on me," Luna said cheerily. Hermione shifted uncomfortably seeming unsure how to handle that statement. Torn between wanting to hug the poor witch and wanting to grab her and shake her till she stopped spouting this Nargle nonsense.

Hermione had had a rather hard time getting past Luna's odd beliefs and even though she got a lot friendlier with her due to their both being in the D.A it was still tricky for the Gryffindor not to shout down all this talk of Nargles whenever she ran into the Ravenclaw. Come to think of it she'd been running into Luna a lot recently. Wherever Hermione went she'd found the Ravenclaw to be nearby and now here she was under her table. Hermione found the gears in her head whirling as many questions swarmed her mind.

"Luna...you haven't been...following me have you?" Hermione asked hastily adding a nervous laugh in order to make sure she didn't sound too accusatory. 

"Sometime's," Luna replied smiling widely shocking Hermione a little her trademark honestly still being very new to the Gryffindor.

"Um...any particular reason or?" Hermione asked shifting around awkwardly again.

"I like listening to you tell people off in the corridors...so very bossy," Luna sighed dreamily and Hermione snorted again.

"oh...that's...oh," Hermione rambled blushing unsure what to do with that information.

"Do you know there's no food allowed in the library Luna? I don't mean to be rude but I'd hate for you to get into trouble," Hermione said hastily changing the subject.

"I like to eat lunch in here, its quiet and I was tired of tripping," Luna said softly looking at the floor then. Hermione got a perplexed look on her face.

"Sorry...I don't quite follow Luna," Hermione said.

"Well...there's been a rather unfortunate Nargle infestation in the Great Hall this year...my fellow Ravenclaws can't control their feet with them around and they accidentally keep shooting their legs out as I pass by and...I was tired of falling," Luna said quietly.

Hermione looked furious, it was obvious that Luna was using another one of her fairy tales to cover for her housemates being nasty to her. Luna saw Hermione's aghast look and appeared unable to meet her eye as she looked down at Hermione's knees and began to smile again. Hermione's face softened as she followed Luna's gaze.

"What? Something the matter with my knee's?" Hermione questioned smiling wanting to raise the mood again.

"No they're perfect," Luna said sighing as she looked back up at Hermione again.

"Oh...um thank you...I suppose. So...this 'Nargle' problem I could sort it out you know I'm a prefect..." Hermione began but stopped as Luna shook her head grinning.

"Oh I know you could put those Nargles in their place in a heartbeat Hermione but I'm fine really...are you sure you won't have that sandwich?" Luna said offering it to Hermione again.

"Oh go on then," Hermione said rolling her eyes taking the sandwich from the witch who was positively beaming now.

"Who needs Quidditch anyway," Hermione muttered under her breath as she bit into the sandwich and Luna grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope that was somewhat entertaining thanks for reading. bye for now :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls of the D.A cut loose with a game of the spin the bottle but things don't go to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene was meant to be part of a party I had planned for the final chapter but it just wasn't flowing with the rest of that chapter. It also relied on Hermione and Luna having fallen out about something which I had no clue of how to really set up. Anyway seeing as it was so close to the end of the story I felt it was a bad time to have Luna And Hermione fighting for any reason so it had to be cut. anyway, try to remember this stuff was cut for not really working and for not being very polished so please don't be too harsh on it haha anyway on you go have more of my madness.

"Aren't you playing Hermione?" Asked a slightly crestfallen Pavarti as she moved to sit in a circle with the other girls of the D.A.

"No I'm busy, I don't have time for such idle nonsense," Hermione said rather rudely not even looking up from her book of ancient runes. Pavarti pouted and rested her head in her hand.

"Fine be a spoilsport," Luna said somewhat snappily surprising the rest of the girls who all appeared taken aback at her tone. None of them had heard Hermione or Luna share a harsh word with each other since they'd gotten together.

"I will... and don't go trying to make it up to me later as I won't want to know," Hermione said her voice though stern quivered slightly and it was clear Hermione was more bothered than she was trying to let on.

"What's going on with you two?" Ginny whispered to a scowling Luna who placed the empty firewhiskey bottle she was holding in the center of the circle and sat crossed legged like everyone else.

"A lovers quarrel?" Pansy inquired biting her lip looking a tad too gleeful for Ginny's liking and the redhead muttered something under her breath about 'bloody Slytherins'.

"Stay out of it Pansy... it's between Luna and Hermione...er whatever it is... now come on let's play!" Daphne said giving Pansy a little dig in the ribs with her elbow.

"Aw but the one person I wanted to play decided to sit out..." Pansy said looking miserable as she glanced over at Hermione who was now sitting on her and Luna's bed with her back to everyone else.

"Don't look so disappointed not like your actual girlfriend is still playing or anything!" Daphne snapped giving Pansy a sharper dig in the ribs with her elbow this time.

"Ow! I love it when you get all jealous darling...this should be fun," Pansy said a devilish smirk on her face.

"Yes lets play and have lots of fun everyone," Luna said a little too loudly in a strange overly cheery voice that appeared to have its intended effect as Hermione looked up from her book briefly narrowing her eyes at all the witches in the circle before making a "Hmph!" sound and going back to her reading.

"Oh come join us Grange-y stop all this huffing...come on tell us more of those great stories of yours," Pansy said trying to tempt the witch over but Hermione just shook her head.

"Stories?" questioned Cho struggling to sit upright due to how tipsy she was.

"Hermione has loads, always running about after Potter...some of the things she's done...I want to hear more about that time turner incident myself," Daphne said answering with a small grin.

"Yeah about that time turner...Hermione, did you ever you know...use it to spend some time alone....with yourself?" Pansy asked in a sultry tone making all the witches in the circle giggle and snort at what she was implying.

"Are you seriously asking me if I used a time turner in order to go back in time and bloody shag myself!" Hermione snapped eyes bulging as she looked around to glare at the Slytherin.

"Wouldn't you go insane if you tried to have sex with yourself?" mused Lavender Brown.

"Nah just think of it as an advanced form of masturbation and you'd be able to cope with it I reckon," Pansy said cackling at Hermione's fury.

"Enough! can we just play already!" Luna said the steel in her voice shocking everyone back into silence. 

"Shouldn't we have included some of the boys in this? Its just...I'm not sure Ron would like me going with other witches..." said Susan shyly still sipping a butterbeer.

"He'd like it if he was here to watch though I bet! Listen, wizards are useless knuckle dragging neanderthals for the most part...and most of them wouldn't know their way around a witch if their lives depended on it...I, on the other hand, I'm something of an expert, trust me this will be far better with just us girls," Pansy said confidently a sexy little smirk on her face as she allowed her eyes to travel around all the other witches in the circle, all of whom looked a lot more excited after that declaration.

"I hope I get Parkinson...I could do with feeling what a snog from someone who knows what their doing feels like," Sighed Lavender as she whispered to Pavarti.

"I'll show you all the power of Slytherin Saphhic Snogging," Pansy said making sure all the girls got a good look at her tongue during that slow seductive bout of alliteration. Daphne rolled her eyes and hit the witch a clap on the thigh, seeming to dislike the idea of everyone getting turned on at the thought of having a go with her girlfriend. Hermione shook her head as she listened to all this nonsense wishing she'd not let the witches get rid of all the wizards as easily as she had.

The ladies of the D.A had driven Harry Ron and the other boys out of their little party and back to their dorms an hour or so ago stating that they all needed some well-earned girl time. Hermione had hoped this had meant they'd be doing some extra dueling practice and be able to get in some more training and with no wizards getting in the way they would probably make better progress. However, everyone else had other ideas about the situation and they all decided that it would be best if they all took part in another kind of bonding experience.

'Spin the bottle honestly what childish nonsense!' Hermione thought as she shook her head unable to believe that all the other girls in the D.A had agreed to take part in Luna's little scheme. She didn't really want to play at all she was just trying to make Hermione mad to get back at her for what happened before. Hermione tried to tune out the giggling and idle excited chatter from behind her but it was proving tricky. 'No I won't give in you won't get to me that easily Luna Lovegood!'

"Okay, Padma you first," Luna said dreamily. Hermione glanced over her shoulder again unable to help herself. Hermione's mouth fell open as she watched Padma take her turn. Just as the witches hand left the bottle Hermione witnessed Luna give the briefest of casual waves with her hand. The bottle suddenly spun to a stop pointing straight at Luna who beamed at Padma. The devious little Ravenclaw was rigging the game! Hermione wanted to jump up and shout but stopped herself she couldn't let Luna know she was paying attention.

"Well go on you two! kiss!" said a very tipsy Cho who had indulged a little too freely in the fire whiskey that had been provided for their little party that evening.

"Like a bit of Ravenclaw on Ravenclaw eh Chang?" Pansy said smirking at the hiccup-ing witch who blushed and looked away from Pansy.

Padma shuffled forward on her knees till she was right in front of Luna, still giggling away she glanced at her sister briefly who had her hand covering her mouth in disbelief at what was about to happen her eyes wide in shock and glee. Padma turned back to Luna and leaned down for a quick peck but had the wind knocked out of her as Luna decided to administer a fierce snog to her housemate instead. Hermione again looked over her shoulder unable to ignore the gasps and cheers. Hermione felt her blood boiling and struggled not to bound off the bed and charge at Luna and Padma and push them apart.

"Whoah there! Steady on Luna...Hermione's right over there," Padma said in a shocked whisper as she pulled back from a grinning Luna.

"Oh I know," Luna said smugly glancing at Hermione just in time to catch the furious witches eye before the Gryffindor looked away.

"Me next!" an all too excited Pansy shouted reaching for the bottle and giving it a furious spin. Hermione still scowling dared another glance at Luna and let out another shocked gasp as she caught the Ravenclaw once again waving her hand and stopping the bottle at her again for a second time.

"Oh...two in a row what a lucky witch I am," Luna laughed as a delighted Pansy scrambled across the circle to administer her own snog. The girls in the circle all wolf whistled and cheered except for Daphne who now seemed to look regretful at having agreed to this little game.

"Right! If that's how you want to play I'll show you Luna Lovegood!" Hermione whispered harshly to herself as she withdrew her wand from her robes slightly so no one would notice. A cunning and devious plan forming the envious witches mind. Hermione cast a quick charm on the fire whiskey bottle and quickly stowed her wand away once more before getting up off the bed and moving to sit in the circle with the others. Hermione's sudden presence caused Luna to shove Pansy backward off her onto the floor rather rudely making the Slytherin pout before she returned to her position next to Daphne.

"I thought you weren't playing," Luna said trying for a neutral tone but a slightly nervous quiver had entered at the last second making Hermione grin.

"I changed my mind," Hermione said smiling sweetly at the unnerved looking Luna.

"Couldn't pass up the opportunity for a quick shot at me eh Grange-y?" Pansy said winking at Hermione who rolled her eyes and reached for the bottle.

"My turn," Hermione said happily watching out of the corner of her eye as Luna tried her little hand wave spell again but this time it had no effect and the bottle instead of landing on Luna instead stopped in front of Cho Chang just as Hermione had planned.

"Oh, this'll be juicy!" Pansy said excitedly licking her lips. Cho blushed deeply as Hermione shuffled across to her trying to fix the Ravenclaw seeker with a seductive look. Cho and Hermione had never been fond of each other. Cho had thought Harry had ditched Cho on their first date to go hang out with Hermione and the Ravenclaw had never really gotten over it. 

Hermione meanwhile had found Cho to be arrogant and something of an airhead. What was truly important however was that Luna also held no great love for Cho and in fact had expressed her worry about Hermione finding the seeker attractive on a few occasions. Hermione had set her mind at ease explaining the witch wasn't her type at all. However, since Luna wanted to make her jealous Hermione decided there was only one way to get back at her and that was by making her green with envy right back and who better to aid in such a task than Cho Chang.

"I-I...never...with a girl before...gentle please," Cho rambled her speech slurred a little and Hermione just smiled at her softly glancing to her left to meet the eyes of a furious Luna before leaning down to capture the nervous dark haired witches lips. Hermione really threw herself into the kiss with the full intent of making Cho be half in love with her by the time she would pull back, however, Hermione and Cho only got a few seconds into the kiss before Hermione felt herself being pulled backward away from the witch.

"Right, that is enough!" A raging Luna said her hand outstretched toward Hermione it was clear she had just Accio'd the Gryffindor her jealousy having gotten too much.

"You started it!" Hermione snapped shaking free of Luna's spell and crossing her arms.

"Oh this is going to be good," Pansy whispered excitedly to Daphne before grabbing up a fresh butterbeer to enjoy the fireworks.

Luna suddenly gave Hermione a hard shove which the bushy-haired witch returned almost immediately Luna and Hermione just stood glaring at each other for a moment both looking as if steam was about to come out of their ears.

"Alright Listen here you two," Ginny began but was shut down by a furious Luna and Hermione simultaneously.

"Stay out of it!" the feuding witches shouted in unison before turning to face each other once again. Hermione grabbed a clump of Luna's hair after a moment and the Ravenclaw followed suit both giving a hard tug making each other's eyes water. Then something bizarre happened it was almost like some sort of switch was flipped inside both witches heads such was the shift in the look they gave each other. Before anyone knew what was happening Luna and Hermione were snogging the life out of each other. 

Luna with a surprising amount of force for such a small witch managed to push Hermione backward into a bookcase sending a cascade of books down around them from the upper shelves. They were so lost to their lust neither witch seemed to care much. All the witches in the circle just stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the passionate display before them. Hermione and Luna kept pulling each others hair and handling each other in an exceedingly rough manner.

"Knickers off! now!" Hermione said in a furious whisper as she bit down on Luna's lip in a brief moment of reprieve from the snogging.

"Um...well I think that's our cue to leave don't you?" Ginny said getting up out of the circle and most of the other witches joining her except Daphne and Pansy. Daphne was trying to get Pansy up but the witch was sat staring at Hermione and Luna going at it an unbridled joy on her face.

"Pansy please! come on we need to leave!" Daphne pleaded.

"Aw but I wanna watch! Hey...don't go everyone come on let's get this Lesbian orgy started? Don't look at me like that! We all know that's where this spin the bottle thing was going! Hey, come back! Fine, I'm going!" A crestfallen Pansy said as she allowed Daphne to drag her away over to the trap door so they could leave with the others.

"Turn around!" Luna snapped again forcefully turning Hermione and harshly pushing her face against the bookcase a pleasured grunt being drawn from the Gryffindor at the rough treatment. Luna dropped to her knees behind Hermione and began yanking down her jeans only getting them down to the girl's knees before she went back up to get the witches pink knickers down as well. Hermione let a small gasp as the cold air hit her backside and her slick sex.

"Kiss my arse Luna Lovegood!" Hermione said grinning reaching down and grabbing a hold of the Ravenclaws head and receiving a grin from the witch overjoyed that they were no longer truly fighting. In fact, as soon as Hermione brought Luna's face to her backside and she felt the witches tongue hit her in just the right place the Gryffindor completely forgot whatever it was that they'd been quarreling about in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading hope it was somewhat entertaining. I'm still tossing around ideas for my next proper fic so keep your eyes peeled might have something new by the end of this month I hope :) bye for now!

**Author's Note:**

> hope someone found this somewhat entertaining. I have a few more smaller bits of drabble and half baked scenes from Pink and Blue I might post if people want more. Kudos and comments really help keep me writing so if you want new stuff from me or more of these deleted chapters please leave some and I'll see if I can't get it together to post more haha. bye for now :)


End file.
